winter, stillness

Only by learning silence, solitude, and emptying can you find the place where the roots of all living things are tied together.

Learn how to wait, how to be silent, how to befriend the dark ... thus, do we prepare to be creative. There is a waiting, a silence and a darkness in all birthing. Heart's winter is already a filling womb... For the font of inspiration and newness to keep welling up within us, old wounds and our shadow side must be encountered and owned. So that creative love may flow in and out, each heart, one day, must be broken.

One morning, as a fire flamed back of a handsome eighteenth-century glass screen, I looked for the silence underneath the explosions of the fire... By now I was adept at finding the silence wherever it was. As I settled into it this morning, letting it fill my ears, mind and being, I heard the words: "I'll never abandon you, no matter what you do." ... Once I heard it, I learned to go and find, first the silence and then to wait for the voice. It comes OUT of the silence. It doesn't always come. But somehow I know it will again. And this knowledge has changed my existence. What I have to do, I now understand, is keep myself ready to hear it when it does.

Silence is where we learn to listen, where we learn to see. Holding silence, being held by stillness, people go alone to the wilderness "to stop and see", to renew their vision, to enter the mind ground, to hear the truth, to return to the knowledge of the extensiveness of self and the truth of no self. One seeks solitude to know relatedness. There the unknown, the unarticulated, the unpredictable, the uncontrollable appear as protectors of the present.

The world stands out on either side.
No wider than the heart is wide.
Above the earth is stretched the sky
No higher than the soul is high.

As I experience God as the source of my life, a longing wells up within me, a longing to grow older together with the living fountain of my life. Upon entering into myself, I find God. By coming to discover my original self, I come to God. As I befriend the silent darkness within me, I become more open to the hidden and mysterious dimension of myself. There, as I rest in the darkness, I uncover myself as a gift from God. I need to take up that gift and walk gently and compassionately with the sacredness that I am...I need to care for the precious gift that I am, preserve it, and hallow the ground from which it springs.

The firefly flickers of God's grace are enough to embrace the unknown. A surge of powerful surrender takes over all my looking back, and ever so gently and hopefully I risk the road of another new year.

Without silence, the inward stillness in which God educates and molds us is impossible!

The chasm between being alone and loneliness is deep. The way you begin to be alone and at peace without being lonely is to know that you are with your best friend. When you are at peace with yourself and love yourself, you can never be lonely. Only when you learn to love yourself, can you love another. You must find that love for yourself before you can touch the purity of aloneness. Love of self, without being selfish, will not allow loneliness to exist. Love of self also creates a love for everything else and brings us closer to the Sacred Oneness.

I surround myself with silence. The silence is within me, permeates my house, reaches beyond the surfaces of the outer walls and into the bordering woods. It is one silence, continuous from within me, outward in all directions: above, beneath, forward, rearward, sideward. In the silence I listen, I watch, I sense, I attend, I observe. I require this silence. I search it out. The finely drawn treble song of a white-throated sparrow is part of it. Invasions of it by the noise of engines are a torment to me. This is my solitude.