Only when I am reconciled with myself can I think about reconciling other people around me, who are at odds with me or with others. Reconciliation means peacemaking, clearing the way for the different parties, building a bridge between quarreling groups. But it does not mean smoothing everything over, making everything harmonious. Different points of view must remain. Reconciliation means taking the other person or group seriously, and also taking myself and my needs seriously.
The most important work can be birthed from the place where uncomfortable silence seeps between us. In those moments we're faced with the decision of whether to respond immediately with the assuredness of our truth or to let the silence work in us. To feel the sadness and anger and grief. To be reminded that there's more at work in the story of the other ...