Perhaps it's possible to forgive in one grand swoop, but I didn't experience it that way. I did it in bits and pieces. You forgive what you can, when you can. To forgive does not mean overlooking the offense and pretending it never happened. Forgiveness means releasing our rage and our need to retaliate, no longer dwelling on the offense, the offender, and the suffering, and rising to a higher love. It is an act of letting go so that we can go on.
St. Augustine said, "Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord,
and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee."
Our dissatisfaction could, therefore, be the admission and
awakening of our longing for the eternal. Rather than being
simply the edge of some personal emptiness, it could be the
first step in the opening up of our eternal belonging...desire
cultivates dissatisfaction in the heart with what is, and kindles
an impatience for that which has not yet emerged...There
should always be a healthy tension between the life we have settled for and the desires that still call
us. In this sense our desires are the messengers of our unlived life, calling us to attention and action
while we still have time here to explore fields where the treasure dwells!
~John O'Donohue in TO BLESS THE SPACE BETWEEN US