The most authentic sign we can give ourselves that we have actually begun the process of forgiveness is our prayer. This is true even if the only prayer we can say is to ask to want to forgive. In the beginning ít may be too much for us even to pray for the person who hurt us. Perhaps all r¡re can do is to pray for ourselves — to pray that for our own sake we may begin the process of forgiveness. Prayer is a way of recognizing and acknowledging God's movement towards us and God's gift of grace
We say we aren't listening to ourselves in the name of consideration for others. But this is a false premise because we can't really listen to others until we learn to listen, exquisitely listen, and TO ABIDE by our own heart.